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Tuesday, August 6, 2013

the worst wildcats

The following article is written as a humorous write up on the wildcat and Johnny Manziel.  For all seriousness, it sucks, like the wildcat.  It also stars everyone's favorite mascot (most likely not) the Oregon Duck......

College football and the NFL have 3 huge differences, o.k 4.  Ill tell you the two obvious ones first.  First Aaron Hernandez, Tim Tebow and Riley Cooper were college all-stars and NFL busts.  Second, teams like to run more (and games reach the 50's like Oregon).  Speaking of Oregon, the Duck is still doing push ups from LaMichael James and Chip Kelly's amazing run.
 
Ahhh! what a run that was.  But back to the point.   The next two differences have to do with major or minor events of the last few days.  First up: College football players can't make money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whoo! calm down we all understand that right? right? Johnny, I know you won a Heisman but if you want to get drafted you have to pay attention.... Whats that a party? You have to go to another PARTY.  You have got to be @@@@# me!!!!  (no that was not a swear it was a duck sound).
Ok everyone knows Johnny Manziel, the freshman Heisman winner. Well he has some issues like partying and illegal profiting.   Not much right? Wrong.  It may have hurt his chances of getting into the NFL soon.  Quick cue the duck sound:
wan, wan, wannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Ok again I have to stay on topic. 
Woooo! What with the new costume? No one said mascots couldn't profit, huhhh. Anyways back on to the article.  The wildcat formation is hugely different between the two levels.  Teams like Oregon can thrive with it while any NFL team in recent memory (2011 Eagles, 2013 Jets) has well attempted to duck away, get it.
ok, I have completely lost it but to wrap up this article I leave you with these: Mark Sanchez was already placed 2nd on Jets depth chart and Vince Young (2011 Eagles) is on the Packers.   Anyway that was the weird article.